The Wisdom Walk

One ancient proverb says, “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” That’s Proverbs 28:26 to be exact. Imagine trusting in oneself, placing complete faith in the consistency of every decision you will ever make. Trust denotes an unwavering faith that when practiced puts you in the most vulnerable place as you relinquish control of situations and turn over the reigns to something or someone else.

You could say I trusted in sports but I tend to believe that we don’t usually trust in inanimate things. Our trust is directed toward people or ourselves. On those sleepy mornings in Los Angeles I would walk to the bus stop before daybreak wondering where I would be in five or ten years. I was looking for a way to escape the pattern I was in though I didn’t know it. I wanted security, a warm bus ride to school, a trip to and from the bus stop with no hastle from the thugs. The question was, “How am I going to attain the security I seek?” I didn’t know any intellectuals who used their minds to flee the ‘hood. All I knew was that athletes had made the jump and seemingly, when they did, money made their problems vanish.

Slowly and methodically I began to trust in myself, thinking I could be an Olympian or play in the NBA. I was 12-13 years old thinking those things, allowing desperation to generate a construct that would help me see beyond right now. So, I got older, moved from L.A. and held on to aspirations, perhaps precursory delusions, of grandeur but the high hopes were less about basketball than they were about me controlling my own life.

I grew tired long ago with the helplessness of being a dependent and became obsessed with control. If I could just get in the driver’s seat, call the shots, tell people where to get off if they crossed me. If I could prove doubters wrong and humiliate the opposition then I’d be…I’d be a fool according to the proverb. The goals and aspirations are not the evil culprits that ruin life per se. It is the refusal of wisdom that threatens every minute of everyday. Walking in wisdom means walking in truth, right judgment with just judgment as to action. I’m not a perpetual source of wisdom so trusting in myself was and is illogical. And while wisdom is too inanimate to trust, I can trust in its author. 33 years it’s taken me to value the wisdom walk. I’ll be 34 this year.