The Truth about Compliance

The next time you arrive to an appointment early or after it has begun, ask yourself why you were prompt or tardy. I’ve come to a recent conclusion that I’m perpetually on-time and late which seems like an oxymoron. On the contrary. I’m late to the things that I don’t deem a top priority and early to things I love to do. How’s that for candor, tellin’ it like it is…

See, your whole life, if you share something in common with me, you’ve been taught about common courtesy and how unacceptable being late is. You’ve run extra sprints because of it, missed out on food because it and maybe even been fired because of it. On the other hand, some of us would rather die than be late to anything and you are the super-compliant types, the personalities that desperately want to be sharp and without blame. In fact, if it was up to you, everyone would roll the way you do.

Nevertheless, after a recent experience with underestimating the amount of time I needed to do a list of tasks I realized that my priorities are reflected y my promptness. I even told my wife, “Hey Love, if I’m late…it probably means that in that moment I made a decision to complete something that I felt was more important (I assured her that where she’s concerned she can expect a “brotha” on time :-).)” The statement was a revelation to me. We think that there is uniformity to our conceptualization of what is vital but the truth is, we don’t even believe that. Students and athletes will tell me, if prompted, that school is the most important thing to them right now but if allowed to speak freely, school is often a distant 4th. The same holds true for conditioning for a sport or practicing defensive drills.

Here’s the deal. Stop lying about what’s important to you. If you’re late a lot, you don’t value the meetings, events, deadlines for which you are accountable and you ought to know the reason for your apathy. If you’re early and the epitome of compliance, congratulations but you may have a more difficult time determining what’s most valuable to you because you could be a “people-pleaser.” In either case, it’s your convictions that stand to be revealed if you can understand the reasons why you do, do not or slowly comply with the wishes of others.