The greatest test of character might be coaching

I’m searching for a word that adequately describes this scenario: A coach leads his/her team to a well-played game that stops short of a win. The coach is sick to his/her stomach at the “nearness” of victory because he/she knows that were it not for a few miscues and a questionable call, the outcome would’ve been favorable. Immediately following the game the coach must face a locker room full of dejected athletes and restore their morale. The coach also has to face the media, in high profile sports markets, and not appear petty on camera.

I’m not sure what you call this ability but I admire it and am convinced that it’s arguably the hardest thing about being a leader. Humility, self-control and accountability mark the DNA of coaches who take those tough 24-20 losses like the Raiders did in their season home opener on Monday Night Football. Just hours earlier, the Buffalo Bills had suffered a similar fate, surrendering a lead late to the New England Patriots after outplaying them most of the game.

The coach defers credit for wins but takes the losses the hardest because he/she is accountable to the players who have entrusted themselves to him/her. The good coaches take losses the hardest but you’d never know it because they can “put it behind them” and honestly, they don’t have a choice. When the season begins, the time for preparation is condensed to a week-by-week or day-by-day basis. The emphasis shifts to damage control, shuffling line-ups and monitoring the physical and mental health of players. And if a coach rights the ship and gets on a roll in the win column, he/she deflects the credit to the people who have made the plays. Somehow, the coach is humbled to be in the presence of fierce competitors who process information and convert it into action. The coach respects this to no end and for this reason he/she welcomes blame for the losses and can’t wait to credit his/her team when the winning starts. I wonder if parenting and coaching bear similarities. Do parents feel untold grief over a child’s failure because they feel responsible? On the other hand, do parents watch from the background with pride as their children tackle challenges and see success realized?

Coaching is that tough gig masquerading as a cushy job. Don’t get bamboozled into leading a team because of the potential for accolades. If you’re worth your salt, it’s both the hardest and most rewarding thing you’ll ever do… if it’s done right.