Senders and Receivers

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw

If you’ve ever been accused of lying when you were not, you know what bad communication is. If you’ve ever had a teammate not pass you the ball because of off-the-court drama, you know what bad communication is. I once published an article in a major newspaper that angered some people very close to me and at day’s end, the culprit was the illusion of communication. There’s an infinitesimal number of examples of what we might label miscommunication and if you run or are on a team, you do well to devote your primary energy to developing encoding and decoding skills. (Encoding = sending information/ Decoding = deciphering or processing information sent to you)

So much is suggested by perception, your own perception. Case-in-point, I played basketball in a league two nights ago and as is customary I was excited to play. Arthritic ankles and all, I still can’t wait to suit up but when you’re asked to play you assume some things like: “I get to play my normal position” or “I’ll be the primary ball handler and scorer.” Two nights ago I was neither. At 6’5″ (not very tall in my book) I was the tallest on our team so guess where I got to play…inside. Playing inside means that tonight your assignment is to rebound, pass the ball and defend the biggest guy on the floor. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do those things; I just didn’t want to. And being assigned to “Shaq” duty communicated that my natural guard skills were being usurped.

The irony is that despite winning the game by 30 points, I perceived something about my teammates that soured my workout that night. So much is lost in translation, the translation of actions to intent. When you speak, it’s important to be definitive and truthful. In fact it’s vital if you wish to transmit information clearly. Speaking involves intonation, inflection, body posture and likely a host of other things I know nothing about. Listening is equally if not more important to communication and necessitates an openness to discourse (the exchanging of ideas). Listening doesn’t mean you agree but rather that you’re interested in the core message of the sender (encoder/talker).

I’m learning more and more that people love themselves to an unfathomable degree exhibiting all of the flawed character traits we associate with the tragic hero/heroine. The traits of excessive pride, superiority and false self-awareness unravel our attempts to transmit information back-and-forth. So much is missed in simple conversation because we’ don’t consider the various dimensions that affect human interaction. Every person has context, a historical framework that forcefully impacts the filter used to process language. The context hinges upon any number of social, racial, educational, etc. factors. Make no mistake; communication is hard work in sport and the marketplace. You’re deluded, worse yet, doomed if you think otherwise. Work on your “Sending” and “Receiving” skills!