Selling Out

I’ve seen it all when it comes to selling out. I’ve been the “sell-out” in my own mind and a victim of my own self talk. “Norman, you sell-out, dating that (non-African American) girl.” Or, “Norman, you need to sell-out brotha. Don’t you see all the guys at this pro workout ditching work to make the most of this basketball tryout? You hustled over here after work but that ain’t enough.” I’ve also said, “Norman, you’re a sell-out man because you’re afraid to use your academic vernacular around people who live in the inner city.”

My head is crazy – a profuse flow of sap that often revolves around the feeling that I’m either compromising who I am or not making the right sacrifices. But dig this. I remember being at this one workout in 2005 and talking to a guy in between drills. He worked for UPS and he was 35-years-old. He was at a semi-pro free agent workout in the middle of a workday. He was selling out, competing, having fun and as much as I wanted to judge him I couldn’t help but admire him. He was having the time of his life and he’s never going to earn a dime hoopin’.

Selling out has one of the most notorious connotations. It’s the kind of word that screams epithetically, “Who do you think you are, trying to make a difference and pretending to be more committed than everyone else.” I can’t help but personify the sentiment so pervasive in our culture. It whispers the most insidious notions and what may begin as cautionary conscience speedily turns to venom. Everybody is so careful and nobody is sold out to anything which has bred the very thing that sell-outs are accused of – COMPROMISE. I think I’d rather die by the light saber than be an “unsold-out.” All of the things that make the deepest impact are sold out. The torrential rain that furnishes the Amazon with overgrowth, the Tsunami generated miles offshore that devastates unsuspecting villagers with 500 mph waves or the meteor that penetrates the Earth’s atmosphere. The common denominator is blatant. Why in the world would we think we could live with purpose minus a good and proper sell-out?