I Learned about Marriage from Not Playing Basketball

I f you were a pastor who performed 8 weddings and 2 of them ended in divorce would that make you 6-2 (6 wins/2 losses)? That’s probably not funny huh?

When I met my wife in 2004 I had just resigned from a full-time staff position at my church. In fact, we met through some mutual friends at a listening party I and my guitarist threw on the very day that was my last as a full-time church employee (music is a great expression form when I get the chance to do it.)

After my wife and I met, a series of events led me to an opportunity to pursue professional basketball for the second time. The reason for pursuing leaving my formal church post was to see if there was a way to serve the character development needs of NBA players. What better way to do this than to play your way into the realm if your body will allow it. So I trained. 5:00 a.m. weights, work as a substitute teacher, 80 ounces of water/day, shooting in the afternoon, games and a night shooting workout at any gym that would give me the keys and leave the lights on. This was the regimen for about 7-8 months. Then a funny thing happened in June 2005. I proposed and in September of 2005 I got a permanent teaching job and ended my playing pursuits.

I walked away from basketball because of my wife. Some professional NBA people said I could spend another year acquiring an agent and navigating my way onto a Pro Summer League team but it was time to NOT PLAY. Sounds sad but it’s far from cause for pity. By my late 20s I no longer held basketball in a place of authority. My life was not totally about me anymore. It had become more about sharing it and my wife was who I wanted to share life with. I see divorce with my own eyes constantly and I’m positive selfishness is the culprit. No one is innocent, myself included. When I perform weddings now I’ll be sure to ask the couple prior to the overly priced “Big Day” if they’re ready to divert their premeditated plans. I traded basketball aspirations for a partner and the beauty is that she likes “Hoop” too so I still won. If you’re married or thinking about the “M” word, think beyond your honeymoon.