GOOD FRIDAY

About 12 noon on Friday I received a couple of calls from family. They became missed calls, one from my grandmother and one from my dad. Granddad had been admitted to the hospital the night prior with serious complications of various sorts. He’d been ill. Ironically, I had just attempted to call him the day before and hadn’t gotten an answer. Needless to say I wasn’t expecting that I’d spend Good Friday, praying for healing and ultimately watching him breathe his last.

All the thoughts move from coursing to racing in those moments. Questions flood like blood rushing class 5 through your conscience. There’s introspection and contemplation about what I’ve done, what I’ve said and the fact that I may never get to actually speak to him again. And as it happened, I did not get to speak to my grandfather on Good Friday. But he’d spoke so many years prior about so many aspects in my life that I sorted through the lessons and found the good in the Friday that left me without the primary male figure in my life.

Attention to detail is the defining element of 6ixth Man Character Development. It’s also the staple of how I train athletes. But whether it was pursuing undergraduate and graduate studies, perfecting the filet technique for fresh fish, planting greens, stacking firewood, etc. detail was important to my grandfather. The accumulation of skills from habits is what I reflect on just hours since he passed away. I can remember my insolence with 4-D vividness as I pouted when he corrected me for not using my napkin enough or rushing on a car wash job. He taught me how to slow down and do it right the first time not because you don’t want to do it twice but because you give the best effort you can first…period.

Of course you don’t get that when you’re 12 because it feels like you’re being ridden. You’re not supposed to get it at such a young age. But I often thought over the last few years, “What did my grandfather see having been born at the start of the Great Depression to a black family in Arkansas?” I never asked him about his early childhood in the 1930s but figured that upbringing had much to do with his emphasis on seeing the first male grandchild educated and empowered to write a ticket of his choosing. Invaluable are his many lessons to me against the backdrop of his motivation. And I could beat myself up for not “getting it” sooner. Why did it take a revelation on the way home two days ago to convince me that once-and-for-all I have become the man I am greatly because of the disciplinarian who made me articulate and speak the word “Yes” as opposed to “Yeah?” Who knows. What I do know is that there are vital components to the construction of a human being’s sense of identity, competency and willingness to take initiative. My grandfather was absolutely vital to my construction and I think that helped make the Friday before Resurrection Sunday truly good despite the mourning.