The time we spend on earth is relatively short in the grand scheme. Few would agree. And yet still some men and women die far too young as proven by disasters like the 7.0 earthquake that occurred in Haiti this past week. What many may not know, however, is that this past week a Division II basketball player from Southern Indiana University named Jeron Lewis collapsed during a game and died at age 21. He had recently celebrated the birth of his first son. Please watch the video to learn more about Lewis.
As for this post, I’ll say that I’m reminded of life’s immediacy when I read a story like Lewis’. I had a talk with a friend recently about how hard it is to get people to look at themselves, to evaluate themselves honestly and to sit with the reality of that true identity. Put simply, most people don’t like the truth and are terribly uncomfortable with contemplation and reflection. My friend runs what I would call a Protestant Monastery, a place to which people come to have silence and solitude as they seek God. Sounds different huh? Compare that to what I do. 6ixth Man basically invites athletes to look at themselves and find out where the resentment of authority, the anger, the depression, the fear of failure actually comes from. So my friend and I do something similar and people don’t like it. How do I know? Because last year my friend gave out 100 free stays to her facility each worth $75 in value and only 3 people took her up on the offer. No one wants to slow down long enough to look closely at themselves. It was scary for me the first time so I reckon others are equally apprehensive.
But if life is as short as it seems, why not do some silence every now and again? Why not read a book or a blog that invites thought and reflection? Why not go into your past to unlock answers about who you are and why you do what you do? Why not do these things and why not do them today. With no real knowledge of what tomorrow involves, wouldn’t it be fulfilling to know that the life we are living is a meaningful one.
Gilbert Arenas plays basketball for the NBA franchise formally known as the Washington Bullets. They are now the Wizards. But neither sorcery nor his moniker, Agent Zero as he is affectionately known, will purify the muddy waters into which he has waded. Arenas entered a plea agreement today after being charged with felony gun possession for a silly incident involving unloaded handguns that he brought to the Verizon Center. It is occasions like these that I see value in a life lesson I learned during my playing career. It’s simple. YOU MUST LEARN THE GAME BETTER THAN THE PLAYERS ON THE FLOOR.
Arenas is the no longer an anomaly. Guns and NBA players tend to have a Peanut Butter and Jelly kind of natural correlation. With that in mind, if there’s one thing you learn as a reserve struggling to find your place in the rotation of a team or organization it’s that you can’t actually believe that you are better than the player who starts in front of you. During my career, I swore I was better than the guy starting at my position. I made claims of being more athletic and a better, more complete player than my minutes indicated. But how well does a player on the sidelines really know the game? What better tutor for a learning curve is experience? In the NBA, Gilbert Arenas is/was the guy whose position is guarded contractually and socially because he has social capital with the powers that be. That is, the coaches, general manager and perhaps even the owner. There are layers and layers often separating you, the reserve or bench warmer from “Agent Zero” or “Hibachi” as he’s also called.
I’ve learned that hierarchy in an organization is seldom personal but rather mostly business. Executives prefer not to gamble and coaches are no different so when Gilbert Arenas is suspended indefinitely by league commissioner David Stern, you darn well better be practiced. If you aren’t, someone else will be. Tonight, for instance, it was an undrafted player out of the University of Georgia who just signed his second 10-day contract for the Utah Jazz. His name is Sundiata Gaines. Who? Exactly. Don’t worry about it. What you need to know is that he was recently brought up from the National Basketball Developmental League (NBDL), the minor leagues of professional basketball. Gaines is averaging a mere 4 points per game but tonight, when All-Star starting guard Derron Williams went down with a wrist injury, Gaines came in ready to Get his Game On. He showed a knowledge of his players and the game. He was confident and did I mention that Utah was playing Lebron James’ Cavaliers? 3-2-1…Gaines hit the game winning three-pointer finishing with 9 points total, proof that you can complain about being the guy backing up the guy or LEARN YOUR GAME BETTER THAN THE PLAYERS IN THE GAME so you can step in and make it look like you’ve done it all before.
Can you believe that the title of this post is the sixth definition listed for the word Political on dictionary.com? I asked my wife what her top three priorities would be if she was the leader of a regime in the Third World? She said agriculture (food), safety (including structural soundness of buildings/roads) and education. Then I asked her which two of the three are the most important to which she responded, “Agriculture and safety because you can’t get an education if you’re hungry and feel physically unsafe.” I agreed.
My questions were motivated by the utter helplessness I feel as I watch horrific footage of a small country destitute following a major earthquake. It’s become regular to see substantial loss of life in the event of a natural disaster in small countries like Haiti. The loss of life is estimated in the hundreds of thousands. Let that ruminate. Hundreds of thousands of people? About 100,000 people fit into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. I can’t imagine that many lifeless bodies strewn throughout the streets among children and average citizens who aren’t even accustomed to seeing death. No one is used to that. It’s abysmal.
And every time a Tsunami, earthquake, mud slide, etc. occurs in what many consider “the less important parts of the world,” I’m reminded that character is of the utmost importance. The reason? Character is necessary because there’s truth in the axiom that Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely. Integrity, selflessness and the ability to begin leadership with a proper end in mind are the types of traits government officials need across the globe for political efficacy to be realized.
When the buildings collapse, there’s no food and water and the darkness of night is filled with horror you can rest assured the future starts now. The dilemma the world must face is that both crisis and prevention demand our attention. Katrina’s debacle was exacerbated by poor responsiveness. Haiti’s situation is no different and while many downplay a need to point fingers, I don’t. Internationally, presidents/premiers/prime ministers share in common the responsibility of acting solely in the interests of the countrymen they represent. It’s hard to imagine that in 2010, there is ever an acceptable reason for large scale decimation due to natural disaster. Forget the palaces and money spent on balls and galas. Ideally, politicians are akin to gospel ministers. Both the atheist and the parishioner expect the Christian leader to be above reproach and focused on the immaterial (i.e. souls, helping the poor, leading people toward personal transformation). Why don’t we expect the same from our leaders? Maybe if we did, our world’s culture would truly champion the notion that privilege and power a civil servant does not make.
Since when did recruits tell Universities what to do and when to do it? It’s like those strange pictures you stared at as a kid trying to figure out what doesn’t fit. I’ve been ignorant on many occasions and let this be yet another because I was grossly unaware that high school football players could do what was reportedly done by Lakewood High quarterback Jesse Scroggins. Apparently, according to the LA Times, Scroggins imposed a Saturday morning deadline for the Trojans to name a replacement for Coach Pete Carroll. Well, Saturday is only days away and the Trojans are hard at work following boss’ orders???? Misplaced question marks denote a statement made with interrogative inflection because I’m seriously confused.
I know recruiting is the difference between starting Matt Barkley or the back-up guy who simply waited his turn but I didn’t know the high school guys had so much pull. It makes me wonder what other items are on the list of expectations that seals the deal for a university to land a top recruit. There’s that “Money Makes the World Go ‘Round” allegiance rearing its head again. See, I’m the guy people always told to get real. What world do you live in Norman? This is business homie, with real dollars at stake as if my orientation to paper currency was limited to the Monopoly sort…miniature bills and funny colors. I know exactly what money looks like and have been tempted by it regularly. But isn’t there a natural repulsion when a bratty kid, no matter how gifted, tells grown folks what to do?
It’s that basic to me in principle. I don’t care what Pete Carroll has done; no recruit should ever be quoted as having given an order to a educational institution. It’s representative of the irreverence cultivated by avarice. Show me the money and I’ll do whatever you like young sir. Wrong. You can play football at our school or don’t let the door hit you…on the way out. Manipulation is manipulation no matter the euphemism and while it is always a cheap tactic, it’s down right insulting when it’s practiced by guys barely old enough to vote.
Angry people have a certain perception and expectation of the world that they live in and when that reality does not meet their expectation of it, then they become angry.”
-Tristan Loo, What Causes Anger?
This quote may be one of the truest there are among principles that have parallels in sports and life. The daily recurrence of anger follows this pattern: Expectations collide with undesirable outcomes and dissatisfaction occurs. Of course the expression of that dissatisfaction is not all the same. There are varying degrees by which people show how mad they really are and unfortunately harm to others can be the result.
I’m convinced that most athletes, especially at the lower prep amateur levels, are angry most of the time but unable to transfer their anger to action by defining a locus of control – that is, to something they really have the ability to change. What am I talking about? Here’s a non-athletic example from my experience as a Christian in America: Let’s say a friend, foe or acquaintance comes up and says, “I’m angry because all these so-called ‘Christians’ are scandalous with their hypocrisy. They talk game but don’t play it cheating on their spouses, their income taxes and at Saturday soccer. They embarrass the tenets of their religion.” People have said these types of things to me regularly as if in deflection or pardon of their own responsibility to be…better. They make valid comments based on familiar instances but have no response. Shouldn’t disgust be an impetus for improvement? If a Christian, for instance, is a bad version of his namesake, the natural questions are #1 Does the fraudulence discount the content of the Christian faith? #2 Are there good versions that better represent the heart of Christianity? #3 (And someone said this to me 10 years ago) What’s up with this Holy Spirit crap? Isn’t it supposed to change who you are?
On to sports, if you’re near athletes or one yourself you know there is no shortage of anger. Nevertheless, it should prompt you to action, a constructive action at that, which moves you forward toward development. I was an irate 17/18 year-old college freshman. I was that lunatic punching the bleachers with bare fist because I missed the last shot in a pick-up basketball game played to seven points. There’s nothing wrong with having high expectations but you can only do what’s in your control to do. Improving means identifying what you control and rehearsing the habits that help You and only You live up to the high standards to which you hold everyone else. For the record, you’ll need some help converting anger to progress.
Sandy Ledesma coaches Boys junior varsity basketball at Sierra Vista High School in Baldwin Park, CA.
That good friend I talked about in yesterday’s post agreed to answer some questions about her unconventional post as a boys basketball coach.
6ixth Man:How’d you get involved in basketball in the first place?
Coach Sandy: I got involved with basketball back at age 10. I started playing for our elementary school’s after school program. I had a great rec leader who put in time to teach us the game, Danny Escalera. I have not left basketball since that day. I was actually cut from our high basketball team my freshman year but was given a second chance by the coach while I sat watching my friends practice. I then made our JV basketball team and played one minute my freshman year. I know about second chances…lol!
6ixth Man: How long have you coached and how did you start?
Coach Sandy: I have been coaching for 13 years. I started by coaching both of my daughters’ city teams in Rancho Cucamonga. Our city has a large basketball program and the need for good coaches is great. I coached them every summer until they reached high school. I always made sure that I did not show favortism towards my daughters and most kids did not know that they were my daughters until the third week of practice.
6ixth Man: Have you always coached boys?
Coach Sandy:No. I started coaching boys during the winters when my daughters were not playing. My nephews took an interest in basketball and would only play if I accepted to coach their city team. From that point on, parents would seek me out to coach their sons city teams during winter seasons. I saw the differences between boys and girls concepts of the game and the difference in the quickness of the game.
6ixth Man:What was it like the first year you began coaching boys?
Coach Sandy:The first year I coached boys was tough. I was on the spot by the men to see if I really knew my game and I had to earn the respect of the boys in order for them to take me seriously. Some referees had a hard time adjusting to a female coaching boys therefore at times I felt that calls were a little lopsided. Once the boys saw beyond the female exterior and saw the love for the game I had, things changed. I earned their respect and also the men in the same arena. The males saw our ability to compete and win therefore they began to take us seriously.
6ixth Man:Do people in your family or otherwise think you’re crazy for coaching boys?
Coach Sandy: My girls love that I coach boys! My daughters have the same fire I do and are so supportive of me coaching boys. They would have it no other way. My immediate family, sisters and parents, were not too surprised that I coach boys but found it to be cool. I think they get a kick out of telling others that I coach boys and getting different reactions out of people.
6ixth Man: How does culture and your ethnic background factor in to your particular situation over at Sierra VistaHigh School in Baldwin Park?
Coach Sandy: Culture is big at Sierra Vista. We are a 89% Latino population at our school. The male Hispanic culture and dogma exist in our area. Fortunately for me, I understand the culture very well because I am first generation Nicaraguan-American and grew up in nearby El Monte. I come from the same background as my boys therefore I understand the challenges they face. I also am able to communicate with my parents in their native tongue which helps a great deal in gaining trust. Hispanic mothers are very protective of their sons.
6ixth Man: What are you hoping to accomplish this year with your team?
Coach Sandy: I have faced some challenges this year with losing some key players to varsity. With these challenges, I have also been able to find the diamonds in the rough. It would be nice to have a league championship but most importantly to be able to bring my players to play to their full potential and God given talents. I love to watch them improve and believe in themselves as the season progresses. This has always been my desire for every team I have coached.
6ixth Man: What are you hoping to achieve long term with the boys?
Coach Sandy: What I hope to achieve long term with the boys is life applicable lessons. I believe that what is expressed on the court is how you handle yourself in life. I want to give my boys the keys so that they become good men of character on the court and off the court. With those keys they can apply them to situations once they are out there in the big bad world. Life coping skills is my long term goal. I know that I would not be the teacher I am in my classroom if it were not for basketball and for coaching basketball.
6ixth Man:What’s the greatest challenge you’ve faced since becoming a boys coach?
Coach Sandy: There are several challenges I have faced since becoming a boys coach. Ridicule from opposing teams is hard and I know that it is hard for my boys so I give them a ton of credit for seeing beyond their ridicule and taking it to the boards where it counts. Earning the respect of the males in my arena has been hard but once they see the competitive level that my boys play on they take us seriously. I have had a father get in my face and go toe to toe with me in the past. But I believe one of the harder challenges I face is maintaining balance in my life. Going between my daughters’ sports schedules and coaching the boys at times spreads me very thin. I try and maintain my focus on keeping my “game face on” as my girls call it.
6ixth Man:How does your faith in Christ affect your coaching style?
Coach Sandy: I believe in redemption and second chances. I only know this from experience because of knowing Christ. He gives me different eyes to see and a love that is not from me that gives me the ability to see these boys as my own.
6ixth Man:If you could give some advice to women contemplating doing what you’re doing, how would you advise them?
Coach Sandy: I would say to any woman that is comtemplating coming into this arena, “You better have some thick skin baby, there’s no room for girly drama here!” ….lol! Make sure you know your game, believe in what you know, be confident, and there is no room for regrets. As one of my favorite coaches said, John Wooden, “you make coaching decisions on what you have experienced in the past. When things do not work out accordingly, don’t dwell on the past, move on, and no regrets”. I read to my boys from John Wooden’s book before games.
6ixth Man:Alright, last one. If the opportunity ever arose to coach varsity boys or even a men’s Junior College team, would you do it? Why or why not?
Coach Sandy:YES!!! I would love the opportunity to coach boys at the higher levels. I know that I am ready. I know that I still have lots to learn but I know that the need is out there for positive reinforcement coaches who teach self-discipline, good character, and competition. Coaching is helping the player to reach their potential and God given talent. I would welcome that opportunity in a heartbeat. And my girls would never let me pass up such an opportunity….”Go big or go home!”
I think this kind of sentiment is the essence of why adoption is so important, no matter the age of the minor.
Since when did recruits tell Universities what to do and when to do it? It’s like those strange pictures you stared at as a kid trying to figure out what doesn’t fit. I’ve been ignorant on many occasions and let this be yet another because I was grossly unaware that high school football players could do what was reportedly done by Lakewood High quarterback Jesse Scroggins. Apparently, according to the LA Times, Scroggins imposed a Saturday morning deadline for the Trojans to name a replacement for Coach Pete Carroll. Well, Saturday is only days away and the Trojans are hard at work following boss’ orders???? Misplaced question marks denote a statement made with interrogative inflection because I’m seriously confused.
