The Sacrifice of Limelight

by

Posted:

One of the hallmarks of our humanness has to be the use, misuse or neglect of discretion. It seems like daily we find opportunities to do things or not do things in the best interest of family, our teams, company’s, etc. But the greatest nemesis of a selfless decision is the allure of limelight. It’s All-Star weekend and they’re expecting a record crowd in Dallas since the game is being held in the billion dollar flagship of football fortresses known as the new Cowboys stadium. Kobe Bryant and Allen Iverson will forgo playing on the largest stage in basketball history and it’s symbolic if nothing else of the constant internal struggle that rages within us all.

Kobe has multiple injuries which include a broken finger, an ailing lower back, knee pain and a sprained ankle. Allen Iverson has always been banged up but alongside nagging injury, he’s said to have relinquished his spot due to personal matters. Iverson is also, quite frankly, not All-Star material this year having gotten the season off to a tumultuous start playing for the Memphis Grizzlies before a reluctant trade occurred. All this to say that both Bryant and Iverson could have suited up but they chose not to either because of undue stress from external influences or internal ones that convinced them that this time…the limelight is not worth it.

I can remember selling my truck in 2004 and having two buyers compete for the sale. They arrived to the parking lot and one offered me $1,000 less than my asking price in cash while the other said he’d give me full asking price, half now and the other half when my pink slip arrived. It was a test of delayed gratification and it was one of the times in my life when I chose to delay. We all want to be Kobe and Allen if for no other reason than to be respected for an unusual skill set and acumen. Some of us just love having fun too much to sacrifice it in favor of the real work at hand. Whatever the limelight, the good of the “team” is always more important than the fame or pleasure of an individual. Just because this isn’t the rule practiced in our society doesn’t mean it’s not true. I’m sure the long-term benefit of Kobe skipping an All-Star game is worth a back-to-back championship. More importantly, if Iverson is tending to a family matter instead of participating in the Dallas spectacle for the ages, he is today the epitome of a man who lives for more than his 9-to-5.

Lakers – (Kobe + Bynum)

by

Posted:

A friend forwarded me a link to an article titled, “The 12 Types of Pickup Basketball Players” which may have borrowed  content from other blogs and major sports media syndicates. Those parties can take that up with him. I had a revelation, however. I’m that Player/Coach guy who swears he’s going home after this game but never does. I’m the idiot who thinks he can tell grown men how to play despite knowing they’ve all come to the gym with an All-Star agenda. The author of this encyclopedic look at the pick-up caricatures hipped me to monikers like The Perspirer, The Hustler, The OG, The Football Player and more. It read like a who’s who of real inner city hoop legends.

But should you read the hilarity of which I speak, you can determine that the current state of the Los Angeles Lakers resembles anything but a rag tag group of health club members and park frequenters looking for a game after work. The Lakers are defending champions down one MVP and a rising superstar. They’ve been without Kobe Bryant and Andrew Bynum for three games and have amassed three convincing wins over notable Western Conference teams.

I watched last night as they went into Salt Lake city and annihilated the Utah Jazz. Guys who are normally reserves did more than pick up the slack, they went out and ran the Jazz off the court  like the starting five from any other NBA power. Guys like Lamar Odom, Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown exuded the confidence and proficiency that fits the description of Ploomy’s player type called The Man. According to “The 12 Types…,” The Man hasn’t left the court in about 6 games since his team always wins, and still doesn’t get tired. He possesses a textbook jumpshot, finds the open man, and is efficient on defense as well as offense. And during these games, his actions look effortless.”

And that’s the difference between Lakers – (Kobe + Bynum) and those Joes who pay $30/month for a gym membership but only use it for the basketball. A professional championship team only has one of the player types mentioned in the article. There’s only 13 or so spots available on a champion’s roster. And even if you’re Laker reserve Adam Morrison, should the guys in front of you go down, you play like The Man because there isn’t room for anything less than that kind of effort. It’s a culture of The Man-ness. And don’t get me wrong, the Lakers care about how they look on the floor about as much as The Fake Baller at the local park who wears the $130 Kobe V. Again, however, the difference is that the Lakers can afford their shoes and don’t need them to convince people that they have game.

Ultimately, Kobe and Drew will return and the playoffs will ensue a couple of months from now hopefully featuring a healthy Laker squad. But it’s worth noting that in the NBA, the NCAA, high schools, etc. there is only one player we all should want to be – the one whose preparation is reflected by masterful and ethical competition. Counterfeit ballers are fodder for blogs. lol

A Non-Parent Perspective on Jr. the Athlete

by

Posted:

A battle rages and I mean violently between parents and coaches. It is based in the difference between what parents want and what a coach is hired to do. If you’ll permit me to use my imagination, I presume that from birth proud parents, surrogates and guardians garrison the borders surrounding their children. I’m tempted to use the pronoun WE but I’m reminded that I’m using my imagination. Parents don’t want kids to suffer because many of them did. They don’t want them to go without, to sit the bench, or to be cut from the team. In a perfect world, no child of yours or anyone else’ would travail in poverty, miss out on college education or come home crying because of disappointment. But truth be told from the paradigm of a salty old non-parent, that last sentence is a farce for a world without travail or tribulation is far from perfect. A world where kids find advocacy at home for their deviance is cancerous.

Again imagining, kids come home everyday with a slanted and often biased recount of the days occurrences. In my experience as a coach of basketball players of both genders, I’ve found that young people are most susceptible to enabling. A 13-17 year old is rarely at fault in their own mind, and even more seldom are they convinced that selfishness is an undesirable character trait. I taught and coached adolescents who created, maintained and worshiped their own fraudulent identities. Something as simple as arriving to class on time is so trivial that the stock response of a student who entered my class after the bell rang was, “Am I late?” How is such a question not as illogical as taking a field trip to war torn parts of Africa and asking, “Will this affect my health insurance premium?” The players I’ve coached struggle with acknowledging responsibility, consistency for mastery’s sake, the benefit of true teamwork, the dangers of unforgiveness and a host of other elementary virtues. But it’s not until their revolt against owning these attributes is encouraged that the young athlete becomes dangerous.

Parenting, I imagine, is a manual-less enigma. It’s got to be hard or more people would have two role models instead of single ones at home. But there’s an age-old trend of parents telling coaches what to do, manipulating the teams for which their young offspring play. I’ve seen the look in the eye of a parent that says, “I really don’t care what you do with them. This is my kid so you better do what I say.” And it’s in those moments I am clearly not a parent. See I’m the coach responsible for transporting the athlete. We’re headed in a direction that only a team can go. Selfish ambition is sacrificed for role playing. Fantasies related to basketball have to be expunged when it’s time to compete. But the coach is merely a vehicle and the machine will not function without its fuel, your young athlete. I’ve seen parents impede the progress of their son/daughter’s team via vacations, outside team obligations, frustrations over playing time and the like. The parent challenges coaches everyday but I imagine its for reasons that have more to do with the maternity ward than valid reasoning. After all, that’s your kid we’re talking about.

Truth is, I could say I understand that parents love their kids and thus behave unreasonably. But I don’t. There’s love and then there’s infatuation. One strengthens while the other cripples. Coaches are resources provided they’re the right kind of individuals. Jr. the athlete bears true allegiance to his/her parents and coaches weren’t meant to win that contest. So for what it’s worth, my imagination includes an honest take. Coach or parent, we’re all mentors with respective roles. Vicariism is the enemy as the temptation to make your children a better version of yourself undoubtedly beckons. Fight the compulsion. There is a village that helps raise your child and once you’ve identified your son/daughter’s coach as one of the village people, support them in their role. Your kid will be better for it.

Is there a Dean Cage within You?

by

Posted:

Dean Cage after exoneration

Has forgiveness been done to death as a virtue? Is the elephant in the room the fact that nobody forgives anyone despite biblical admonishments to the contrary? Nobody is a hackneyed term so it has to be used with caution. Perhaps most people don’t know the real meaning of forgiveness nor do they possess the courage and perspective to champion such a characteristic. And can you blame the bulk of humanity for the unwillingness to forgive what with the deception, emotional abuse and blatant treachery that rampantly afflicts. But imagine you lost 14 years of your life because of a mistake and were exonerated when someone who fingered you as “The one who dunnit” realized you didn’t?

One of my main “bruhs” forwarded me an article about one such instance where a man named Dean Cage was mistakenly identified as a rapist of all things. He was identified by a rape victim as the vicious assailant and ultimately sentenced to 40 years in prison. Thanks to the advent of DNA technological advancements in forensic science and multiple appeals, Cage was exonerated and released from prison. Here’s a good stopping point to ask another question. Now What? If I’m asking myself, the answer goes something like, “Make the best of what’s left of my life.” Cage went in at 26 and got out at 40 years of age I believe. A lot happens during those years especially if you had fiancee on the outside which Cage did. So the To Do list on the other side of incarceration follows in numeric order: 1. Find a place to bunk 2. Find a job 3. See if my fiancee is married to someone else 4. Oh…and stew in the venomous cauldron of resentment because I, an innocent man, had my life ruined by a traumatically scarred young woman.

Forgiveness wasn’t on the list and not because of omission. But that’s me talking and not Dean Cage. Cage and Loretta Zilinger who mistakenly identified him have made voluntary contact thanks in part to Dr. Phil (Surprise!). Reluctant at first, the two developed a partnership rooted in forgiveness. Cage wants to help Zilinger find the real guilty party and Zilinger wants to help Cage assist other exonerated men realize forgiveness.

At day’s end, aren’t you curious about the intersection of atrocity and forgiveness? It’s not to say that all heinous obstructions of justice end with reconciliation. But like my dude Alex said on the phone last night, “What would the world be like without forgiveness?” No one moving on, no one not faulting entire ethnic groups for the mistakes of a few individuals, no one doing business with a company because it refused to serve African Americans two generations earlier, etc.  Forgiveness is as much about functional interdependence as it is a symbol of gratefulness to a forgiving God. So here’s a question for those of us unable to let go of past wounds. And it is merely a question. Would the world cease to work without forgiveness?

The Story: “Exonerated man, accuser forge rare bond.”

A Saintly Lesson

by

Posted:

I was thinking of the common disclaimer, “I’m no Saint.” Translated, it means, “Please don’t think much of me because I’m not who you think I am.” I’ve heard people say it as recently as about one week ago and what a difference that makes in light of last night’s Superbowl. The interpretations abound when it comes to the word Saint but the standard connotation is that it is reserved for those who have exhibited exceptional holiness of life. And if we apply that definition, most of humanity is certainly disqualified…arguably all of humanity.

But there’s a common thread between how the bible articulates the notion of Saint and how the New Orleans Saints performed yesterday. Simply put, the common thread is, in a word, Desire. And it’s not that mere unrelenting resolve gets you what you want. One does have to acquire skills and execute those skills under the right conditions to see the desired goal realized. But make no mistake that whether in a daily walk of trying to emulate the incarnate Jesus or mixing blitz packages against one Peyton “Future Hall-of-Famer” Manning, Desire is the key component.

Disqualification begins in the mirror and quickly becomes a cop-out for so many of us. “I could never do this, start that endeavor, travel to that nation to assist the poor, mentor that young person, be a better parent, earn a college scholarship…” Need I go on? Today is the day that you’re here, with your intellect, with your lessons learned with your intent and most importantly with God’s advocacy if your purposes are not ignoble activities you’ve rationalized.  If we’ve learned anything from Drew Brees and friends, it’s that today, you can attempt what others have said you don’t deserve to attain. You can be better. Period!

CP3 and the Way to be

by

Posted:

CP3 (Chris Paul picking up a strike with Pittsburg Steelers' Hines Ward looking on.

One of my best basketball memories from college has more to do with bowling. We were having a lackluster practice when coach aborted all the drills and in lieu of prolonging the drudgery, took us all to the lanes for an impromptu afternoon of bowling. A love was born, quiet as it was kept, for the sport.

New Orleans Hornets All-Star guard Chris Paul shares the love and turned his hobby into a charitable event. It’s called the Chris Paul PBA Celebrity Invitational and it pairs PBA bowlers with professional athletes and/or entertainers. “Ludacris,” Hines Ward (Pittsburgh Steelers), Lamar Woodley (Pitsburgh Steelers), Lebron James and many others have lent time, dollars and star power to a cause that benefits thousands of kids from New Orleans and Paul’s hometown of Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Paul’s invitational is a case-in-point about synergy and mobilization as it shows the effectiveness of creating alliances…the right kind of alliances that use partnerships to serve a deadly blow to the limitations of poverty. PBA greats like Norm Duke and Jason Belmonte are not household names the way NBA stars are but everyone involved in today’s event had an elevated stature worth lending. Today’s event had an added bonus as well being held at the Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base New Orleans. The U.S. still has thousands of service men and women stationed abroad and in harms way and Americans love the troops even when they disagree with the politics that deployed them. Hip Hop pioneers Eric B. and Rakim once rhymed the words, “And you sit by the radio, hand on the dial, soon as you hear it, pump up the volume.” Well, synergistic events do just that for the downtrodden domestically and worldwide. It’s not rocket science either, once you analyze why a bowling tournament stands to reach so many and draw their support.

Bowling is the working man’s sport it would seem. It’s the sport I remember from childhood as we went to the smoke filled bowling alleys as kids and waited for the time we’d be strong enough to bowl with one hand. Basketball, football and entertainment cover a multitude of demographics as well with the military component even more far reaching. If I study CP3’s (Chris Paul’s well known moniker) strategy, it’s genius for philanthropy. Have a clear benefactor that supporters can see. Have a parent organization (The Chris Paul Foundation) that charitable events funnel directly into and find a tribe of marquee individuals and entities who will link arms with you and celebrate the effort your putting forth. Oh, and it helps if ESPN carries the event on a Sunday afternoon when everyone is at home just waiting for the Superbowl to start.

Football or no Football, He’s still Kurt Warner

by

Posted:

WATCH: Kurt Warner’s  perspective on life after football

When Kurt Warner was asked if he’d be like other guys who retire from the NFL then change their minds five months later, it sounded like he’d had 2-3 concussion’s worth of reasons to say, “NO”. He admitted in the press conference that he’d probably miss the NFL after doing it for 12 years and after doing it according to one of the most unlikely pathways to professional sports. Warner is like the guy who never plays except that he did. He had odd jobs while playing Arena football and did time in the NFL Europe league that ultimately folded. He got on with the St. Louis Rams and stepped in when Trent Green was injured. Kurt Warner is one of the most unlikely of candidates for a pro career let alone the discussion of his belonging in the Hall-of-Fame someday. Yet and still, he’s become a pro’s pro – someone even the most elite NFL stars revere.

But when I listen to him, watch him and listen to others speak of him, he really does remind me of that guy who doesn’t play. Ask a room filled with 100 or more people how many of them played sports between youth, adolescence and young adulthood and the whole room will likely raise their hands. But ask that same group of people if they were the stars of their teams and you’ll be able to count on one hand the number of hands that remain in the air. The world is filled with people who scrap and claw their way to whatever success they experience. And let’s eliminate the scratching and clawing that takes advantage of others and breaks the law. I could cite those individuals but they don’t count. Illegality is a cheap brand of hard work if it’s hard work at all. Nevertheless, the fraternity of “Kurt Warners” is comprised of people who have to earn respect and sometimes have to leave the thing they love most to get it.

Football is like the Ike Turner of pastimes. It’s brutal to you but at times you love it just the same with the charm of its adrenaline filled Sunday afternoons. There’s an attractiveness distinctly associated with the harmony of  ambient crowd banter, whistles and crashing men adorned in protective, multi-fiber armor. But just as with the real Ike Turner, you’ve got to know when to leave and find confidence and contentedness with other aspects of life. Kurt Warner now turns his attention squarely upon his family. When I was in college competing for a spot in the playing rotation, I found writing as an outlet as a member of the school newspaper. I started volunteering at church. It didn’t happen overnight, but I learned a Kurt Warner lesson – that you can’t be a slave to a sport or something you’ve always dreamed of doing. There’s nothing more insane than being dominated by an addiction, an obsession, an idol. We’re created to be better than that during the 86,400 seconds of every day. I get the sense that the only difference between Kurt Warner 12 years ago and Kurt Warner today is that his pockets are a bit deeper. I’m confident he’ll look to the next 12 years with optimism and most importantly faith in Christ to lead him to new avenues that may make the NFL pale in comparison. How about you? Are you willing to have your life defined by more than a singular goal that may or may not come to fruition? Will you search for those places inside and outside of the daily grind to add value to the world around you?