Are you in the process of making 2 consecutive mistakes?

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What are the chances that you make the same exact mistake two consecutive times simply by chance? When I was 14 years old, I was hit by a car at the same intersection, on the same corner within the span of one month. Saturday, I watched the University of Southern California lose a football game by a field goal the same way they did the week prior. On that same Saturday two days ago, I coached a high school basketball team, specifically Western Christian’s boys Varsity and we squandered a 14-point lead to lose by less than five points the same way we did one week earlier.

Making the same mistake two consecutive times can’t be coincidence. There’s simply too many other errors that can afflict in the course of any activity. Suppose I suggest that two consecutive mistakes, the kind that cost you a win or a limb, are due to gross flaws in how you do whatever it is you do. I could postulate no other way after reflecting. I remember having two bikes ruined because of my carelessness at an intersection in West Covina, California circa 1990. I see the car ahead preparing to make a right turn on a red light. Driver looks to his right, then his left and finally turns right. That’s a pattern I had observed countless times but I assumed I could inch out into the cross-walk and slip by unscathed. I was wrong both of the times I thought that. I was in a hurry to get to a game at the high school and nearly jettisoned from Earth because of it. That was the mistake I repeated – impatience? What is USC’s flaw? What does Western Christian High School Boys Basketball need to work on this week to avoid a third incidence of the same error?

Mistake patterns reveal systematic problems. Repetitive outcomes indicate the habits which precede them and without an intentional strategy of preparation, I submit that there will be little deviation from the “coincidences” we experience more than we care to. So for me to get to my 15th birthday, I had to assume that cars leaning right would turn that direction without one more look. I chose to stop riding bikes altogether. The Trojans need to spend time this week on open-field tackling and taking away the short pass on 3rd and Long. As a coach, I’ll be doing a series of passing drills with left and right hands, emphasizing free throw technique, conditioning and on-ball defense. I’m convinced we can attain those breakthrough competencies, those life-changing epiphanies when we stop pretending that we somehow keep having the same accident.

PRIDE ALMOST PREEMPTED A YARD SALE

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I owe T-mobile a lot of money for my wireless service so two days ago I decided I should attempt a yard sale. I’ve helped countless others execute the feat on Saturdays gone by. I’ve even helped with the double-headers that run Sat-Sun. But I never threw a solo gig. And now, thanks to Dave Ramsey’s wisdom, I’ve determined that getting out of debt is worth more than my affinities for my Logitech computer speaker/sub-woofer system.

My wife and I set out to sell as much as possible with no real plan other than to sort the junk the night prior and lay it out on tables and sheets the next morning. I’m sitting here writing this from the location of the experiment. I’ve sold all the large items while watching inhibitorless, Cherry red hot rods cruise by. I just saw a Tahoe on “Dubs” owned by a guy who works for American Medical Response. Of course Harleys ride up and down on weekends mounted by old brothas who swear old guys run things. And I’m not really trippin’ about the rims, exhaust systems and fancy floss that is California weekending. I’m not so critical because the truth is that I’m just like them at heart.

I must be like them right? Or else I would have never accrued so much debt paying for college degrees, accepting credit card offers and getting financed at 5-7% on auto loans. Am I crazy? I’ve spent my adult life being a slave to the myth that I’m not really broke. And it became apparent when I realized that, “Oh snap…a bruh is about to have his mobile phone turned way off on Monday if he doesn’t come up with an excessive amount of loot.” Imagine that – consequences that truly reveal the choices you’ve made over say a 13-year period. I am on the brink of being a business man with no cell phone. And at first I was embarrassed about that. Actually, I still am but the ominous thought that come Monday, my livelihood would be impaired, moved me to action. So I thought, “Ain’t nothin’ to lose.” It’s a double-negative yes but you get the idea. Sell everything. Sell it because slavery is foul. It’s like going to Coinstar, spending food stamps or eating lunch at your middle school with reduced-lunch tickets. We learn very early to pretend financially, at least I did. But in this economy I’m down with using the metallic currency no matter what color it is. I’m also down with selling an old TV for $10 (3 of them) if it will help me pay the people I owe. I used to exhaust myself for basketball knowing full well the slim odds of playing professionally. Isn’t it only fitting that we should exhaust ourselves to kill pretense and our acquired taste for owing people way more than the debt of love?

THE DECISIONS THAT MAKE OR BREAK

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There’s a proverb that reads like this:

He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. 10 For wisdom will enter your heart,and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.11 Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

Proverbs 2:8-11

I used to hate those car commercials where the dealer slogan has something to do with, “What are you going to do with all the money you save?” Laughing, I used to sit there and cynically snicker at the gimmick. They were promising to give you something but charging a price they could afford to charge and still make a profit.On the other hand, there’s discretion and wisdom.

I discovered this proverb a few days ago and have read others like it but it resonated when I thought, “We are actually protected by the decisions we make or don’t make.” Right now, stop and think about the next big decision you need to make. And avoid the trivial as you think. Who cares what color shoes you wear today. What’s more important are questions like:

How did the decision to_____________ affect my life?

When I chose to ____________, why did I lose the trust of ___________?

Could it have appeared selfish when I refused to __________?

I find that these are the more pressing self-interrogatives. The proverb makes sense in the least. It refers to a “HE” who poses as a shield and guard under one condition; make upright decisions. Choose right activity as opposed wrong activity. Operate with the well being of more than yourself in mind. If we believe in miracles, does the application of wisdom not qualify as one?

If you’re an educator, a parent, a coach, etc. you know well the difficulty of guiding people. If you’ve ever been young, you know how fun it was to finally get your turn. We all got or are getting our turn to be young, impetuous, self-absorbed. But we’re hard pressed to show examples where recklessness and conceit have yielded protection. Don’t both of those attributes usually make others hate the shoes you stand in? All the time we abandon virtue and ethic in favor of situational ethics – determining right and wrong on a case-by-case basis according to our own whims. It’s always going to be convenient to not question our decision making. We might say, “Why would we spend too much time worrying about discretion. Couldn’t we overthink our lives?” Truth is, very few people over think anything. Most do quite the contrary. No questions, no discretion. And if the axiom of Proverbs holds, no discretion means no protection. The Proverb goes on to say in verse 12, Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse. It’s not the ancient words that pose the problem. It’s probably more our willingness to do what we know is right. How committed are we to discretion and knowledge? How much perspective do we have? From part-time employee to Barack Obama, aren’t we all 1-2 decisions away from success and failure? Maybe the goal is to keep asking ourselves questions when we’d rather opt for what makes us feel good. With questions come confrontation and truth is a good rendezvous.

HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KNOW SOMEONE’S THOUGHTS?

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Do you ever feel like you can listen to people’s thoughts? I’ve seen at least two super hero dramas that feature the ability. And both were Twilight Zone ripoffs from the episode when Hector Poole, played by Dick York, found himself able to know the private musings of co-workers, strangers and friends. The episode was called “A Penny for Your Thoughts” and in it Poole nearly went crazy.

Are we better than Hector Poole? I must think I am because I’ve spent nearly a lifetime fraudulently responding to the “thoughts” of others. You know how it is. We assume someone has a malformed opinion of how hard we work, what kind of student we are, what kind of parenting we do, etc. You have the argument a million times if you have it once-a-day and each time the plot sequence is similar. You anticipate what others think, respond in thoughts that engage you in a vocabulary scrimmage that will never take place. Consequently it’s not uncommon to find yourself angry over something that never happened and it stains you. Opinions of others are colored and forgiveness is nearly impossible. If not careful, you’ll surely take up residence in a state of misgivings, distrust and paranoid suspicion. I’d venture to say that it may be the very source of insecurity and at the helm of the assault on self-worth.

It’s hard to have a healthy view of yourself when you’re always listening to what you “think” people are saying about you. Truth is, thoughts are private for a reason – perhaps to not lull you into the moot activity of caring about perceptions that wouldn’t matter even if they were true. I’m reminded often that we were born to live not to mentally slander. We are meant to thrive through purposeful pursuit, not to deaden our minds with pensive episodes that resemble television fantasy. If someone doesn’t like you, chances are, they rarely give you a second thought. Move on. You’ve got stuff to do.

IS FEAR OF EMBARASSMENT THE REASON WE LACK FAITH?

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Forest Home Sunset (Forest Valley, CA)

HOW COME YOU’RE NOT A CHEATER?

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One of my greatest incentives to avoid cheating lies in the faces of your kids who could become infected by it.

There’s a lot of reasons why I try to not be a cheater. I definitely had a real problem with it up through my first semester of college.  Are you having trouble answering the question? Revisit the definition of Cheat below:

cheat [cheet]

–verb (used with object)

1. to defraud; swindle: He cheated her out of her inheritance.
2.to deceive; influence by fraud: He cheated us into believing him a hero.
3. to elude; deprive of something expected: He cheated the law by suicide.
–verb (used without object)

4.to practice fraud or deceit: She cheats without regrets.
5. to violate rules or regulations: He cheats at cards.
6. to take an examination or test in a dishonest way, as by improper access to answers.
7. Informal . to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on ): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife.
–noun

8.a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds: He is a cheat and a liar.
9. a fraud; swindle; deception: The game was a cheat.
10. Law . the fraudulent obtaining of another’s property by a pretense or trick.
11. an impostor: The man who passed as an earl was a cheat.

cheat

Pardon the impromptu refresher. I don’t “wanna be startin’ somethin'” like Mike sang about. But if you’ve read any 6ixth Man material, you know how we get down. By the definition above, most of our most heralded icons are nothing more than professional cheaters (plural noun) who cheat (verb) on expert levels. Recently, Yankee infielder Derek Jeter faked being hit by a pitch and manipulated the umpire until he “earned” a trip to first base. A St. Petersburg Times article noted that 87 year-old Al Merill was so disgusted by Jeter’s antics that he cut up and flushed his mint condition Jeter “rookie, 1993 Upper Deck SP foil run #279” down the toilet. Old Al thought Jeter…a cheater.
If you pretend to be something/someone, lie, mislead, access an illegal advantage, trick, violate or elude the truth, you meet the cheater criteria. But what to do with the label should the shoe actually fit? That’s where I’d like to continue asking questions. This is also where you are tempted to stop reading. But remember, I’m not accusing per se. I’ve had my own internal struggles with cheating.

cheat

The better question is, what would convince you to stop? There’s much to be gained in this world through deception and the like. From simple pleasures to wins to monetary gain on par with that of bank bandits, it stands to reason that cheating presents tremendous tactical advantages. Furthermore, it is so accepted that it’s barely distinguished as aberrant behavior. It’s not the kind of thing that changes minus a commitment to values at the seat of your passions. So, since this is a blog, don’t tell me whether or not you’ve cheated. My teachers told me it was dumb to ask questions to which I already knew the answers. If you’re trying to stop cheating or have done so, let’s discuss your motive. Why don’t you cheat anymore if you don’t and if you do, why is it your modus operandi?

cheat

cheat. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved September 17, 2010, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cheat

IS GOD AND CHRISTIANITY STILL WORTH TALKING ABOUT?

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An evening view of St. Paul's Cathedral from a bridge over the Thames River.

It recently dawned on me that England has been exposed to Christianity for far longer than the United States has even been a nation. When some dear English friends asked me, “What do Americans think of us where God is concerned?” I replied, “Well…I’d say you’ve grown weary of religion. Is that Fair?” They responded, “Yes.” And then we proceeded to continue a riveting conversation about Faith, God, formalized religion and the like at 1:30 a.m. over Chinese food in Soho. It was definitely one of my coolest experiences to date and I was on the hot seat the whole time.