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I was reading about a few guys in the National Basketball Association who are in the so-called twilight of their careers. The likes of Tim Duncan, Dirk Notwitzki and Steve Nash are at the top of the list along with your beloved or hated #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers. Yet the old dogs are still in the hunt and in many respects feared by opponents. It reminds me of when you’ve got that older brother who’s only one or two years your senior. He took advantage of you so much when you’re a kid that when you’re both nearly adults, you still kind of wonder if picking a fight with him would be a good idea.

The battle scarred veterans are in the injury riddled final phase of their dominance of the airwaves and teenage boy wall space but something sets the vets apart that we should note – tenacity. As superstars age, the support they require increases and franchise executives are well aware of this. It’s there job to monitor manageable declines in the productivity of their go-to guys. As long as the main man can draw a double-team, he’s still deadly enough to build a team around. So that’s exactly what happens and the ageless wonders remain effective. Basketball in the NBA is about management and manipulation of resources. It is, at least in part, about drafting the right players, keeping them on your payroll and complementing them so that your franchise is branded. You want people to say, “That San Antonio Spurs is a class organization.” I’m one of those people. I’d say the same about Utah, Phoenix, not-so-much Dallas but definitely, as I gag, Boston.

People wonder how players manage to compete in their twilight when they can no longer play 82 games, notably the ones on the back end of a back-to-back. How does a 35-year old man who’s played basketball since he was 6 years old summon the resolve to lock antlers with young bucks? How does he not embarrass himself in the presence of new bloods? Figure two parts wisdom/savvy and one part cooperation from the front office. It’s a science that has been refined since the Lakers sent Kareem Abdul-Jabbar into retirement only after benefiting from his services well into the Captain’s 42nd year of life. The point is…twilight, schmilight. Being productive is not limited to youth though the mentality to compete is cultivated early. Whether a golden guy/girl or a fresh fish there’s much to learn from the hardwood gladiators preparing to give it “one mo’ ‘gain.” Best believe I’ll be studying how they get it done this year.

AN UNLIKELY ALMA MATER

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Kobe Bryant’s Alma Mater is Lower Merion High School located in Ardmore, Pennsylvania and I suppose the pre-professional stories end there. No junior college, no red-shirt year to get stronger before playing 3-4 years in a Division I system and no offroading through alternative professional ranks a la the National Basketball Development League (D-League). Who can know if Kobe reminisces fondly of his Alma Mater where he was a 4-year STARter. That’s not a normal experience for anyone let alone a guy who, sources say, resided in Italy with his father prior to high school. I find myself wondering what mixture produces a Kobe? Whether you love him or hate him, he possesses that “IT” that’s so difficult to put into words. Cold, inconsolable, unwavering, arrogant, tenacious, singular are among the adjectives I’ve heard used in reference to him.  But I was talking to one of ma dudes today about the pride in one’s alma mater and how significant it is. I graduated from Chapman University, Orange, CA. My buddy is a Harvard Man while other mutual friends of ours are men of Troy (University of Southern California).

Bryant is one of the last men to successfully make the leap from high school to the NBA prior to a rule change that now requires that draftees be at least one-year removed from high school. He was preceded one year earlier by Kevin Garnett (Boston Celtics). But some might say that Alma Mater is a non-factor since high school doesn’t count. But supposing that logic holds, does Italy count? Does immersion in a foreign culture during the most formative years of your life constitute an Alma Mater? It should. Isn’t the Alma Mater the school you attend during your formative years? But we think linear and that’s why Kobe’s story is strange. It’s as if he got college done before high school. By the time he arrived to Lower Merion, he was fluent in two languages besides English and eerily over prepared to dominate prep basketball in Pennsylvania. His mother and father are media elusive and I just learned that he has two sisters. There’s certainly something peculiar about how this demagogue was formed and his ability to command Michael Jordan comparisons. There are plenty of stellar basketball players in the NBA with stories all their own. Kobe just happens to have a more intriguing Alma Mater Studiorum (“Nourishing Mother of Studies”). What’s yours?

THE HUMILITY OF KNOWING YOU

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At one point our bus broke down in Italy on this highway but you wouldn't know it from the picture.

What if all of the people you ever “Butt Dialed” formed a blog about the things you say when you don’t know others are listening. Would that scare you? By the way, is it eavesdropping if you continue to listen to people’s conversations when they call you accidentally? Digression. Anyhow, my real question is whether or not you and I are on the up-and-up about the person we’ve been waking up with since birth. And no I ain’t talkin’ about ya mama. Are we in touch with the unfiltered, uncut version of us, the one that speaks candidly minus the performance?

There was a moment about 7 years ago when I began this Damascus-like transition toward transparency. I was in the midst of a messy life situation that many reading this may remember and I made arguably the most difficult decision of my life. The fallout was nuclear and suddenly I became acquainted with hate directed square at me. It was at that moment that I unwillingly began a journey of self-awareness, slowly seeing both the courage and the falleness that resides in my character.

And so today I shoot straight, at the mirror image and friends alike. I somehow still possess compassion, though that’s up for debate, but I endorse authenticity as a chief virtue. Masks, superficiality, reputation control, duplicity stink in my nostrils. That means I sometimes stink in my own nostrils. How’s that for visceral? That’s true talk, however, and to be fair I still battle the thoughts that are difficult to express out loud even to oneself in a room filled with only me. I think we all live in that place at some point – being embarrassed by the real us. Acknowledging the real you is humbling and requires more courage than you’ll ever need in any other confrontation. People say, “If they just got to know me…” this, that and the other would be the result. Regardless of outcomes with people, securing a certain job or landing the significant, DOING YOU is not an really an option. Chances are that doing you means knowing you which probably means changing you. Buckle up fa safety…

DO YOU LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD?

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Have you ever been told that you “don’t live in the real world?” And what real world would that be exactly? Is it the one in which weekends come too slowly and work is annoying? Is it the one in which high school leads to college which leads to job which leads to fulfillment? Or is the real world the one where you get married and all your problems go away? Better still, maybe the real world is the one where certain people do big things and people like you and I are relegated to the small because well…everyone can’t be great.

The more I was told to “Get Real” as a kid the more I asked what the command meant. If you dream of a career in the arts, athletics or politics is anything more required than an effort that fits the aspiration? You wanna go pro? Prepare like one. That’s the fictitious world in which I live. Since when do the statistics justify aborting a dream, a global project, a quest to impact? Tennis Great Andre Agassi grew up hating tennis as his dad forced the sport onto him and yet now raises millions of dollars for impoverished youth in Las Vegas. The sport that stole much of his vitality has afforded him great wealth to accompany his heart for doing philanthropy (a word that literally means “love of people”).

Are we programmed to be worker bees? Where does such indoctrination begin? Why is survival still the end all be all in America, one of the wealthiest and youngest nations on the planet? Are we pretending that we need only gas up, motor to work and comply with the drill thinking that if we do, the real world we call the fake will disappear? How convenient. If only this were true. The fact is that while we buy, sell, entertain, inebriate and abuse in our “real world,” the real real world is being lost. The sunsets, the relationships, the service to humanity, etc. is being mistaken for get-your-head-out-of-the-clouds living. The only problem is that perhaps this is intentional and not a mistake and this begs the question: are you going to fall for it? You have a son or daughter, homework, rent to pay, team rules by which to abide, a job with myriad demands and here I am saying you’re not doing enough. Nah…I”m saying you’re not BEING enough. If greatness is serving, and it is, then the real world we’ve been told about is anything but real. The real world is filled with passion, compassion and awe. The real world is more than a place but rather self-awareness. It’s knowing who you are and offering that true selfless identity to the community in which you live. Death to drudgery. Mushu said in Mulan, “I LIVE.” What’s so hard about that?

METHOD MAN

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What’s harder, perfecting a craft or creating the craft in the first place? One of the things I have decided to spend significant time doing each week is creating. Creating what? Creating methods, opportunities and relationships. I know it’s not the same as inventing an Ipad but it’ll have to do for now.

I recently accepted a contract to work for an organization with loads of talent. They have motivated personnel who know what they’re doing. Their facilities are something you blog about and their genuine care for their constituency is blatant. So why do they need me? I’m the method man, no affiliation to Wu Tang Clan. My job is to spot the source of disconnects in the environment and guide the organization and its members through a process of honest self-reflection. And that process is still evolving, still being invented. Figure it this way, I am the unbiased outsider who has been trusted. And that in and of itself is interesting. How can you be an outsider and trusted? Simple, I have history with these folks and lots of folks just like you do. I have prior knowledge of their impediments but I know their mission well because it is my own. I can own what this organization is about so it’s not hard to create ways to reacquaint them with the reason they all signed contracts.

My method is comprised of nothing more than finding a common honest thread in people who are part of a team. In other words, “What’s the thing they all believe in?” Once we discover that, the challenge is to admit the role you play in getting the team to move in the direction of the thing in which everyone believes. Roles may vary but everyone has to prepare, everyone has to be gracious and everyone has to fight prejudice. But creating a method for respective teams is harder than it sounds because organizations are as different as people themselves. It’s a fun job though and it’s lovely when a method you’ve made up helps people help people.

DO YOU HAVE BIG ROCKS?

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I’m developing big rocks. They were always there. Get ya mind out of the gutter. I’ve gone obsessive now and have begun painting the big rocks from my yard, nothing so extravagant. My wife bought a stencil and she and I are using Sharpies to write down life’s most important elements – GOD, silence, solitude, health, etc. The idea is that big rocks go into your 86,400 seconds a day first and everything else gets the crevices. We’ve realized, with the help of some people we respect, that crevice fillers will define your time and efforts each day unless you get intentional. In other words, the “alsos” of life can easily become the main ingredient of yours.

So tonight we’ll finish with the rocks by painting the rest and varnishing those bad boys. I’m thinking the rocks will make a great centerpiece but more important will be how the rocks are cultivated in my life every week from now ’til I push them daises. Take the practice of silence and solitude for instance. On Saturday I spent an hour in a gym by myself shooting as many perfect jump-shots as I could get up but the focus was not on shooting rather on quieting a busy mind and heart. I needed this time. It allowed me to escape the jeers, the pressure, the onlookers who misunderstand. The silence involved reflection and prayer and sometimes just a crossover dribble to a pull-up jumper from the left side. In fact, Saturday allowed me to combine three rocks in one episode. I was doing something healthy while trying to engage God and yet be silent in the tumult.

And so here we are, back to Monday but without a case of the “Mondays.” We couldn’t pay the DirecTV bill so the television is off and that actually helps. So the big rocks for us include but are not limited to:

  • God
  • Silence
  • Solitude
  • Health
  • Husband-Wife Time
  • Writing
  • Creating

What are Yours? I’d like to know. May the Big Rocks bring meaning and significance.

Do You Throw Your Weight Around?

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It’s called leverage and here’s how it works. Someone possessing authority over someone else demands cooperation, compliance or acquiesence. It’s the oldest method of manipulation, using power play to move the world in your favor or toward your ends. It can be as subtle as a restaurant owner choosing not to serve a teen until she has served the older more distinguished customers who can clearly articulate their wants. Then again it could be as blatant as threatening to withold money from a scholarship fund unless certain personel are not removed from the organization that administrates the fund. As the economy runs on a deficit so the world seems to run on leveraged power. As it happens, we are all either in power, searching for it or ferociously pursuing it.

Before we dismiss ourselves from thinking that we would ever participate in leveraging consider the following list and why each bullett qualifies as leveraging:

  • complaining about your co-workers or fellow students (How is this leveraging? You are using your emotional arguments to sway the sympanthies of peers and form a mob that paints someone or some people as villains)
  • servicing certain clients better than others (How is this leveraging? You are exercising your prerogative as the seller to discriminate because you think one group of people needs you more than you need them.)
  • Using a condescending tone to talk down to people (How is this leveraging? You have identified qualities in the person that you deem inferior and assumed that it gives you a right to bully.
  • Appealing to loyal authorities on your own behalf (If you’re asking how this is leveraging you gots to be jokin’. Nevertheless, this is when you use your access to “big timers” to get you out of trouble. Example: My dad, the former Shooting Guard for the Detroit Pistons and current chief of Police in Kalamazoo, made my 100 mph over-the-speed-limit ticket somehow vaporize.

So let’s say we ask not only whether or not we throw weight around but rather how effective it is. Is there a danger to relying too heavily on coercion? What kind of leader are you?