ARE YOU A SORE LOSER?

There’s still good NBA playoff basketball being played. I should be watching. But I don’t care – not since the Lakers were swept last week by Dallas. This was a difficult admission to realize I’m still a bit of a sore loser. But what’s comical is that the guy people love to hate, Kobe Bryant himself, isn’t even one…not necessarily. Bryant is arguably one of the fiercest competitors in any sport of any era and when his quest for a sixth championship ended, he had to sit in front of reporters and provide quotes and soundbites that sounded deferential and dignified. I know he didn’t want to say a word. Would you have?

See I’m a sore loser and chances are you might be to if you do the following five things:

  1. Move to blaming others or circumstances when your demise is realized.
  2. Pout when you can’t have what you want when you want it.
  3. Allow your mood to be dictated by wins and losses.
  4. Insist on a rematch when you’re not equipped to win one.
  5. Cease pursuing a goal because you’ve failed at it.

Muhammad Ali is famous for many things not the least of which is this quote:

“Champions aren´t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them – a desire, a dream, a vision.”

It’s the vision that propels or should propel us. The beauty of your life is in the commitment to detail, to training, to maximizing to getting up off the mat when you’ve just suffered an embarrassing defeat. And that defeat comes at the hands of various opponents. If it’s not your exhaustion from school work, it’s work itself that’s about to give you a cat nap to the canvas. You may have lost financially, morally, physically but sore losers are one dimensional. Kobe couldn’t stop being a husband and a dad because the Mavericks are moving on and his Lakers aren’t. Dare I say it? Even Tiger Woods doesn’t have time to be a sore loser and that dude has lost his reputation and his wife.

Some inventory would be good everyday. When the day ends, check yourself against the list:

  1. ______ (Yes)       ______ (No) Blamed others or circumstances when your demise is realized.
  2. ______ (Yes)       ______ (No) Pouted when I couldn’t have what I wanted when I wanted it.
  3. ______ (Yes)       ______ (No) Allowed my mood to be dictated by wins and losses.
  4. ______ (Yes)       ______ (No) Insisted on a rematch when I was not equipped to win one.
  5. ______ (Yes)       ______ (No) Ceased pursuing a goal because I’ve failed at it.
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Category: Bigger than Me, Character, Skills

2 Comments on “ARE YOU A SORE LOSER?”

  1. I watched a basketball final today between 2 school teams of 14 year old kids. The final was a mixed event with the rules dictating that 3 boys and 2 girls be on court for each team throughout. The history between these 2 teams (boys only) is ongoing as they often meet each other in local school finals. As expected, the game was close and the presence of the female team members changed the team dynamics somewhat for the better. The boys were less aggresive, or at least more controlled with their aggression. The game endedand the teams were separated by just 1 point. A great display by both teams in a tournament organised and officiated by older kids volunteering from a local college. Both teams returned to their benches at the end and I witnessed celebration by the winners on one side, and also a heated exchange from the players and coach at the other side. I wandered over and listened closer to hear the 2 ‘better’ male players venting their frustration siting biased refereeing and inconsistent calls as the reason for their loss. This plea to their coach lasted 2 or 3 minutes as she patiently listened and tried to calm them down, whilst their team mates tried to stay positive as their view was that they lost a tightly fought game and that is sometimes what happens. I felt the need to speak to the 2 players as their coach looked a little lost at the barrage of complaints. I complimented them on a great performance along with their team mates and pointed out that the officials were neutral, and I also advised that they shouldn’t focus on such negatives and their loss was all a matter of perspective. I suggested that they might want to reflect on turnovers, a foot placed out of bounds, or even a missed free throw or 3 and these were a contributor to a close loss. It made them quieten down for a while but I just know their conversation continued as they left the hall.
    As adults we really must encourage our students to take ownership of their lives and actions. Our society does seem to promote a blame culture which seems to enable young people deal with failure easier. My 4 year old daughter sometimes says ” It wasn’t my fault it was yours!” which she picks up from others at school I am sure. As adults and mentors we must convince our kids to focus on the positive and reflect on the negative.

  2. I had to go back and read this comment from one Brit Coach. So true is it that there is a learned helplessness in our global culture. I used to think it was just us Americans that taught our children to blame others for things inside their control. At any rate, as a teacher/coach/mentor/and student of life I am finding that responsibility is a daily bout. It is riddled with the truth that we hate to confront. More and more I realize that we are not who we wish we were in the moment of trial. But the weakness that threatens our character is simply fear. We’re afraid of being caught, afraid of committing to better habits and afraid of owning the consequence for actions we know are beneath us. We look around for allies when failure looms overhead. “It’s not my fault,” we say panning our audience for would-be supporters. But kudos to you Brit Coach for keeping it real and talking to those kids. I reckon you’d have the same talk with your daughters and will continue to be that voice in your community. I applaud your efforts. I’m runnin’ with you on your squad.